From Burnout to Boundaries: A BCBA's Journey to Recovery

The Breaking Point

Many years ago, early on in my career, I thought I was living my purpose. Working as a Behavior Analyst, I was helping clients, supporting families, and making a difference in my community. From the outside, my career looked successful and that I was taking off. But inside, I was drowning.

I answered emails in the evenings. I took calls at dinner time or while watching my children at their practices. My phone buzzed with messages at all hours, and I responded to every single one because I believed that's what dedication looked like. I said yes to taking on more clients when I was already overwhelmed. I volunteered to provide staff trainings even when my schedule was bursting. I brought documentation notes home on the regular so that I could finish them up, scan and email them off to admin (yes, paper documents - triplicate carbon copy paper to be precise), all the while telling myself it was temporary—just until things slowed down and became normal.

Things never slowed down – that was my normal.

The warning signs were there, but I ignored them. The constant fatigue I attributed to "just being busy." You know - work and kids. The irritability I blamed on difficult cases. The sleepless nights I justified as "caring too much." I wore my exhaustion like a badge of honor, convinced that being available 24/7 made me a better clinician.

Then came the anxious feelings each time I heard my phone buzz. My entire body was reacting negatively. I found it hard just to get out of bed. I cried sitting alone in our family room after our kids went to bed. Even when I tried to be present with my children, I'd get a feeling of anxiety out of nowhere. I realized that I couldn't even remember the last time I felt joy in the work I once loved...or even in life outside of work.

I saw my doctor and broke down crying to her. I said I was scared because I felt so down, so hopeless, so nervous that and I understood why some felt they had no way out at times in their lives because frankly, I was starting to feel that way too. I was forced to take a mental health leave—something I never imagined I'd need. I started taking antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication. The woman who helped others manage their behaviors couldn't manage her own well-being.

The Mirror Moment

Those weeks away from work were just an escape. Honestly, not much changed after that. The medication helped with the symptoms. I still didn’t realize what was going on. The fact of the matter was, I had helped create the situation. Not through malice or poor intentions, but through my inability to set boundaries. I had confused being available with being effective. I had mistaken saying yes to everything with being valuable. It took me years to figure it out, but I eventually did.

Looking back now, I can see the pattern clearly:

• I believed that being a great behavior analyst and a great supervisor meant always being available. If I wasn't constantly responding, I wasn't working hard enough or they weren’t going to respect me.

• I feared disappointing others more than I feared depleting myself. Every request felt urgent, every need felt like my responsibility.

• I had no separation between my professional and personal identity. I wasn't Danae who happened to be a behavior analyst—I was a behavior analyst, period.

• I thought self-care was selfish. Taking time for myself felt like taking time away from my clients and my family.

The irony wasn't lost on me. Here I was, a behavior analyst who understood the importance of environmental factors and contingencies, yet I had helped create an environment where burnout was inevitable.

Finding My Guides

Recovery didn't happen overnight, and it didn't happen alone. I was blessed to find mentors who showed me a different way—successful behavior analysts (and I mean REALLY successful, like if I wrote their name, you’d know who they are) who had learned to thrive without sacrificing their well-being.

They introduced me to something revolutionary: the concept that boundaries weren't barriers to good work, but foundations for it.

One mentor asked me a question that changed everything: "How can you show up fully for your clients or your family if you're running on empty?"

Another shared their own story of burnout and recovery, normalizing my experience and showing me that seeking help wasn't failure—it was wisdom.

Discovering ACT: Values-Driven Living

Along the way, I discovered Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), first as a therapeutic approach for clients. Then a light-bulb moment hit…I could use it as a framework for my own life. Through readings, trainings, and supervised guidance, ACT helped me understand that I could make values-driven choices rather than emotion-driven reactions.

I learned to ask myself crucial questions:

• What do I truly value as a clinician and as a person?

• Is this action moving me toward or away from those values?

• Am I saying yes from a place of values or from a place of fear?

My values became my compass: excellence in clinical practice, meaningful relationships, personal growth, sustainable service to others, family and health. When viewed through this lens, saying no to excessive demands wasn't selfish—it was necessary to honor what mattered most.

The Boundary Revolution

Setting boundaries felt foreign at first. I worried clients would think that they didn’t matter to me, supervisors would be disappointed, and colleagues would think I didn't care much about them. But something remarkable happened instead:

My clinical work improved. When I wasn't constantly exhausted or anxious, I could think more clearly, be more creative, and show up more fully during sessions.

My relationships deepened. When I stopped working when it was family time and on weekends, I could actually be present with loved ones. And man did I enjoy those baseball games, gymnastics meets, cheer competitions and Friday night lights.

My confidence grew. Each boundary I maintained successfully proved to myself that I could honor my needs without the world falling apart.

Others began to respect my limits. By communicating clear expectations about response times and availability, I actually reduced the urgency culture around me.

I learned practical strategies that transformed my daily experience:

• Setting specific hours for responding to communications and sticking to them

• Having a plan for supervisions and caregiver trainings to address concerns proactively

• Building buffer time into my schedule for unexpected needs

• Saying "Let me think about it for a day or two and get back to you" instead of automatic yes responses

The Truth About Self-Care

The biggest revelation was understanding that prioritizing myself wasn't selfish—it was strategic. When I take care of my own needs, I show up as a better clinician, colleague, and human being.

Self-care isn't bubble baths and face masks (though those are nice too). It's:

• Honoring your energy limits

• Protecting time for activities that restore you

• Saying no to good opportunities so you can say yes to great ones

• Seeking support when you need it

• Making choices based on your values rather than others' expectations

To My Fellow Behavior Analysts

If you're reading this while checking work emails at 9 PM, if you feel guilty for wanting personal time off, if you're constantly worried about disappointing someone, please know: you are not alone, and there is another way.

Your value as a clinician isn't measured by your availability. Your worth as a person isn't determined by how much you can handle. You don't have to choose between being excellent and being well.

The field of behavior analysis needs sustainable practitioners, not martyrs. We need clinicians who model healthy behaviors, not just teach them.

Setting boundaries isn't about caring less—it's about caring more effectively. It's about creating conditions where you can do your best work for the long haul, not just until you burn out. Above all - it is about making time for YOU and doing things that are important to you, not just work.

Moving Forward

My journey from burnout to boundaries continues every day. Some days are easier than others. There are still moments when I feel the pull to say yes to everything, to check my phone just one more time, to work just a little longer.

But now I have tools. I have values. I have mentors. Most importantly, I have the understanding that taking care of myself isn't separate from my mission to help others—it's essential to it.

This transformation has become more than just my personal recovery—it's become my mission. After experiencing firsthand how burnout nearly ended my career and deeply impacted my well-being, I knew I had to help other BCBAs and BCaBAs avoid the same path.

Your boundaries matter. Your well-being matters. You matter.

And the world needs you healthy, rested, and thriving.

Let's Work Together

Today, I combine my experience as a BCBA with my training as a health and wellness coach, specifically focusing on helping other behavior analysts reduce burnout and create sustainable practices. My certifications in nutrition, sleep, stress management and recovery allow me to address the whole person—not just the professional challenges, but the physical and emotional factors that contribute to burnout.

Through my coaching services, I help fellow BCBAs and BCaBAs:

• Develop personalized boundary-setting strategies that align with your values

• Apply ACT principles to make values-driven decisions in your daily practice

• Create sustainable work-life integration that honors both your professional mission and personal well-being

• Address the underlying beliefs that drive overcommitment and people-pleasing

• Build stress management and recovery practices that support long-term resilience

• Optimize sleep, nutrition, and energy management for peak performance without burnout

I understand the unique pressures we face in this field because I've lived them for nearly 20 years now. I know what it's like to feel responsible for everyone and everything. I also know what it's like to find freedom, effectiveness, and joy on the other side of that struggle.

If my story resonates with you, if you're ready to move from surviving to thriving in your career, I'd love to support you on that journey. Because you deserve to love what you do without sacrificing who you are.

Your sustainable practice starts with a single boundary. Let's build it together.

Ready to transform your relationship with work and reclaim your well-being? I'm here to support your journey from burnout to boundaries. Connect with me to learn more about coaching services designed specifically for BCBAs and BCaBAs who are ready to thrive.